After loss, what celebration?

after loss, what celebration?
not the morning, or a spot of lunch
not the yellow gorse
not your friend’s telephone voice
not the long light of evening
nor the shape of fruit
not sitting with a preening sparrow
or proving a loaf of bread
not laughter, anyone’s at all
but especially not yours
not eating bircher muesli
not wet grass and too much rain for May
not reading, not a puzzle
not learning to walk again
not the pride in your partner’s eyes
not any of that, but all.