I entered the water
asking,
Is there
a trick
to make the cold bearable?
She said—
Tell yourself it is
just another
sensation to
experience.
And I did. I
let the cold envelope my body like a
second skin.
He'd said—
Do not. Let. Your illness. Define. You.
And I'd thought,
I am not.
But—
I am pain.
When I lie
doubled up in bed,
unable to move,
I
am
pain.
When I stand
feeling like my innards
want to tear themselves
out,
I am
pain.
When my own body becomes a
long, agonising scream,
I. Am. Pain.
When my own body becomes a
long, agonising scream,
I. Am. Pain.
But not today.
Today I swim,
I shock my body into surrendering to the water.
She joins me too. And she whoops.
And she laughs. Whoops again.
And I laugh. And I float...