Sometimes in life, things happen that can change the entire direction of your life. Three years ago, my life, and my son’s, was very different. We lived in a pretty cottage in Northern Ireland. I was working part time, and my son was in secondary school. We had no contact with any immediate family in the area. My son was being bullied in school and we had tried to sort things with the school, organised counselling and tried all the options people could suggest. Then one day my son came home and said words that will stay with me forever.
‘Mum, the kids at school keep telling me to kill myself, and sometimes I think they might be right.’
I hugged him so tight and said all the things I thought might help, but I was scared. I tried to move schools, but I was just told to go on waiting lists. My son was getting more and more withdrawn. Then I found out that my work was looking for a manager in Scotland. I had been looking for positions in other parts of Northern Ireland but somehow came across this one. I thought about it for a couple of days, then found out that my work would offer a relocation grant. I sat down with my son and asked him if he would like a fresh start in Scotland. He jumped at the chance. I waited a few more days to see if his excitement would fade but it didn’t. I applied for the job, and got it, applied for the grant and got it. Then I went house hunting, which was difficult because we have two cats and couldn’t just nip over the water for house viewings. So many people said,
‘No pets.’
Then the first place I had inquired about, but had been too late for, reached back out to me and said the people who wanted it had backed out. I was delighted. He gave me a virtual tour and was very pleasant on the phone. I had never been to Ayr before, only to Edinburgh. I was taking a huge risk: new place, new job role, new school for my son. I know it could have ended so badly. It wasn’t a rational choice, but my son needed to be away from the people who made him feel so badly. I felt I couldn’t protect him, and we had more to gain than we had to lose.
We packed our stuff and hopped on the boat. It was February, the weather was awful, the rain was like water balloons being dropped on us from childish students in the clouds. The rocking of the boat made me… let’s just say uneasy. The drive to the house was in darkness and I hadn’t seen it in the flesh. We arrived at 7am and took a walk on the beach. The wind was howling, my hat blew away and my son ran to the swing and shouted to the sky.
‘Woo hoo! Scotland!’ With the biggest smile I had seen in years.
My new landlord said, ‘It takes two years to really make a place a home,’ as he handed me the keys.
I don’t know if he was just saying that to keep a tenant, but I found comfort in the timeline. It didn't take that long. My son made friends in school really quickly; they loved his accent. His grades improved, he developed new hobbies, and completed the Duke of Edinburgh Award. He came out of his shell completely. There were a few bumps on the road, but he is happy. I settled in well to my job and went back to education from home through the Open University and have just been accepted onto a PGDE course. Sometimes on my walk to work across the bridge with the old-fashioned lampposts, I stop and look at the river, with its beautiful swans and hypnotic rhythm and whisper a thank you. So much was going wrong for us, and so many things, more than I have mentioned, slipped into place when I started to look at Scotland as a possible home.
If one thing had changed, we might not have moved. We even made our first friends because of a prank that was played on us. We were told that there was snow all year round in the North of Scotland. I honestly didn’t believe it at first, but they showed me pictures of a year-round ski slope and I was fooled. So, my son and I went for a drive northward, and somehow ended up in Roslyn chapel (I got lost). We accidentally joined a tour group and made friends with a wonderful woman, who put us in touch with another single parent and their child. That was almost three years ago, and we are still best friends.
Sometimes you need to smash the foundations of the world you live in, to build a stronger one. I never felt like I was in the right place until I moved. Scotland deserves to have the unicorn because it’s a magical place and I am so unbelievably grateful to be here and see my child happy. We love you, Scotland, you’re a breath of fresh Ayr.
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