The sky doesn’t get dark at night anymore,
It just fades to an inky blue
Like deep water lit from beneath and I am
Finding it harder to sleep at night.
With the weight of so
Many things pushing
Down on my chest,
The pressure, building and building.
Wondering if my veins and nerves are seasonal too,
If the light inside me wanes and flares
Like sunlight,
Passing over the curve of the earth.
Tonight, is a blank cold winter night on a summer’s evening,
Tonight, is years since then and two weeks since I felt that and another
Hundred years before my bones crumble away, like I feel they might
Every time my phone goes off.
Tonight, is a work night and I have to
Set an alarm and get out of bed
And dress myself,
And walk to the bus stop
And have another day, a normal day,
With bones made of sugar
That will start to dissolve at the touch of your lips
Into sweet, useless nothing.
I feel all this and roll
Onto my back to find sleep.
And in the morning
I brush my teeth.