Please note: this piece contains content that some readers may find upsetting.
Dear Gbenga,
I can’t believe it has been five years since we last spoke. However, I am not worried because I can always write letters to you, knowing fully well that whenever I see you, we will reconnect again.
Writing this letter is hard for me. Hard, because there are so many things I would like to tell you since we last spoke five years ago, but penning them down cannot be compared to saying them to you face to face. Despite this, I’ll keep writing to you as many letters as I can. It is therapeutic for me as well as gladdening that you, my friend, are forever cherished. I wouldn’t let the distance between us deter me.
Just some days ago, I was thinking about how we became friends. I remember how on the very first day we met, you were sizing me up even before you walked up to me to say 'Hello'. It was the most unlikely place for friendship to blossom - a job interview/assessment. In retrospect, I can now laugh at us, but then, I wasn’t the friendliest. Can you blame me? I came to get a job and not to meet a friend. It turned out that you made the first move, not minding my attitude. I’m happy you went ahead and spoke to me first. The first words were spoken by you, and we became friends gradually. Now, a friendship that has been through thick and thin.
Back in those days when our friendship started, it seemed to me that you were a gentleman who was ‘too good to be true’, only for me to find out, as time progressed, that you actually were not feigning it.
In such a big city like Lagos, I wasn’t expecting to meet a friend like you. A city, with all of its glitz, glamour, and paparazzi, could have had you caught up in its mix, but you still decided to stand out till our paths crossed. You are such a rare gem.
Can you believe that I saved your name as ‘Mon Amie’ on my phone? These French words mean ‘my friend’ in the English language. You, indeed, are the type of friend I am so happy that I crossed paths with. Who could have thought that the friendship was going to last this long?
How are you doing over there? (Pardon me, please. I should have asked this question at the start of the letter, but I guess I was caught up in reminiscing on how we became friends.)
Can you believe that since the last time we spoke, I have not met any other friend like you? I mean, there are other ‘friends', but among them all, you are outstanding. I am not saying all of this in order to flatter you, but I would be doing you a disservice if I did not mention this truth. Thank you for being that friend!
Guess what my new name is? I mean the new alias that comes behind my first name - A Widow.
I am now being called a widow because you, my dear friend, Gbenga, departed. The whole world assumes that our friendship ended when you left. Little do they know that we are still friends. Friends for life!
They say I am living in denial, but would that really be true when you gave me gifts - our children, who are constant reminders of our friendship that I hold so dear.
Whenever I look at the children that our friendship produced, I cannot help but cheer up. These children embody your values, principles, and even some of your physical features.
Your daughter has countlessly asked me how we became friends. She has seen your photos, your diary, and videos of you saved on my phone. Your son is quieter. He reminds me of you a lot. He talks very softly, like you.
Can you remember how you always told me that I could achieve great feats? You had a way of bringing out the best in me. Little wonder our friendship has thrived. Who better to be friends with, if not someone like you, whose words make me stretch myself beyond my comfort zone?
I have travelled to places, taken more educational courses, charted a new career path, and most of all, I’m raising our children all by myself.
Sincerely, being a widowed, single mom isn’t easy. I can go on and on about the challenges and difficulties, but knowing full well that I’m doing this for the sake of our friendship and knowing that you would have done the same for me if you were in my shoes, has been my major driving force.
I hope you are so proud of me!
Yours in friendship,
Bamidele
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