Awa back in January 2021 – comin on a year o pandemic, anither lockdoun, me runnin smack bang intae anither burnoot eftir months o owerdaein hid wi mutual aid wark – I posted a peedie wird tae me trans community group chat. “A'm no gettin mesel oot the hoose. Wid onybdy meet up wi me fer a weekly daunder aboot the pairk?” I got a reply fae somebdy A'd no met afore, anither trans wumman at bade up the road. Sheu sayed sheu'd come an fetch me, an sheu did. Sheu nivver missed a week, an even eftir I wis back tae mesel an takkin me ain body oot, we kept on meetin up tae staver an blether. The ae path, the ae pairk, but watchin hid cheenge as spring cam in.
Hid’s Lochend Pairk, fifteen minutes up the bike path fae me road, a royetie bit o gress, trees an watter aneath the bruckalation o a auld tour hoose. Wi Duddingston, hid’s wan o the twa natural lochs in Edinburgh, tho natural’s a misnomer. The watter’s a fair piece lower as it wance wis, an i’ the fifties the city mad a boorach an plunkit buildin grummel i’ the mids. They planted a few howpfu trees at sank and deed, makkan a oorie suckamire at's a perfect hame fer watter birds. Moss deuks an tappit deuks, Canada geese an stibble geese, snyths an swans – aw raiglar visitors, alang wi the resident huidie maws an rattons. Thir skrankie birks an bunnet firs fer passerines an squirrels. Hid taks us ten minutes tae gang aw the wey aroond, which we dae wance a week. Ivry time, we try tae spy the hegrie, Lang Sandy, a dowlie bird at’s flitten fae the muckle nestin grund at Duddingston tae mak a hame in Lochend.
Aroond an aroond we gang, watchin the deuklins growe up an the cygnets hide in their mither’s wings. We speak aboot boyfriend bither, the latest guff in the news, hou tae get whit we need fae wir doctors. The birks gang green, then gowd, then drap their leafs tae leave they slinkit brainches at purpie the winter. Me pal hits a winter wae, an nou hid’s me turn tae drop by tae pick her up, get her oot, mak bad jokes, watch the few birds left coorie doon. The pairk’s mad pals o us, an wir mad pals o the park. Whit stairted wi a favour is sunk in deeper, like the trees sinkin intae the loch, growin on grummel, makkan a safe piece fer sleek-feathered craiturs.
A year turns, an anither year. June 2023, an the virus is still wi wis, fer aw we mak oot itherweys, an the vyces in Pairlament is ivver mair ill. I gang fer surgery, an eftir a week o bed rest I’ve a need o folk tae help me oot the front door again. Me pal comes, reglar as ivver. A’m stechie, stentit an stoondit, no sure on me feet, no sure o me body. Hid’s sair whan sheu gars me laugh. We bide a while on the bench. Lang Sandy’s a mate nou: no so lanesome eftir aw. Sheu staunds i’ the watter in that statue pose, a scuther o wind fufflan her lang chest feathers, watchin wis watchin her. Me pal delivers me hame an I gang back tae the sofa tae load up the Switch I’ve the lend o fer me recovery. I climb up a digital ben in Hyrule an watch the colours o the sunrise.
We’re in a lot o group chats, me an me pal: fowk we swim wi, folk sheu’s oot fer noodles wi, folk I pley boardgames wi. Wir seen mair as wan political organisin group come an gang thegither, brakkan under birnoot an bad relationship decisions. Thir a chart wi mak, like that wan i’ the L Word, but fer trans weeman lukkan oot fer ilk ither. Each o wis is gotten a few girls we keep a ee on, each o thaim wi a few girls o their ain, an aw o wis tryan tae mak sure awbdy’s catched somepiece i’ the net. Whan the ae knot frays, anither’s tied. Me an me pal, tho, wir fankelt thegither by this path: we loop the loch an it leashes wis.
By April 2025, the hegries is multiplied. A’m coonted seven, but Best kens hou mony is hidin. The swans is mense an pouer yet, an the snythlins are still gotten ridiculous feet, but the hegries ken they’re the starns. Some glaikit beuys pit fire tae a bin on wir brand new observation deck, an the temporary crash barriers leuk like they’ll be here tae stey. The birks is buddin. Me pal’s awa fer surgery. Last week, tae see her aff, we daundered aroond the pairk an skrekkit aboot the latest aafil thing tae happen tae wir freends. The hegries didno mind. Next week, sheu’ll be back, an we’ve a rota of pals tae come by and spend time wi her while sheu sits in bed an pleys videogames. Whan sheu’s ready, A’ll tak her oot, an we’ll walk the path again.