I have a friend called Linda,
Misty is her dog.
On their walks I tag along
In case she falls into a bog.
I’m there to pick her up again -
Sometimes I watch and grin.
Our friendship is now based on this,
Followed by a calming gin.
In the snow and on the ice
Linda's prone to stumble.
Even in the summertime
She can easy take a tumble.
Walking in the woods one day
In deepest dark December,
An icy stretch she came upon
And then she did remember.....
'I always fall when on the ice,
And the dog does need her run.
I'll crawl across this lethal spot' -
The valiant venture was begun.
The hardy pair did get across
One creeping and one skidding
Misty slid like Bambi did
And thought 'she must be kidding!'
And is it wise to wear a skirt
When walking in the wood?
Could it catch upon a log?
If you're Linda, yes it could.
Down she went on to the ground
Head first, while Misty laughed.
As luck would be, no injury
Just feeling slightly daft.
My biggest hope for my friend's health
Is that she's learnt her lesson;
Don't wear a skirt! Put crampons on!
Make safety your obsession!
But till that day, I’m close at hand
To minister first aid
And soothing words of comfort
On her latest escapade.