Friendships for different times in our lives.

Friendship comes in many different forms. Some are designed to last a lifetime while others are like a chaotic angel that comes into your life during your most troubling times. In my early 20s I met someone who would be my best friend for many years. I had stepped away from my entire family and part of me was looking for a sister. We had many adventures together, she also had issues with her family that she would eventually be able to overcome. I was not able to repair my family but created my own over the years.

Our friendship was full of drama, chaos, misery and tears. We are still in contact to this day but live in different places on the globe. On our last great trip, I was leaving the country where we met. She had accidentally burned my house down and I needed to return to my hometown. We decided for one last road trip.

We got in my beat up, dirty white car, with very little money and no real plan. We left the town of Tralee and set off across the West Coast of Ireland. I have no idea how the car managed to survive on petrol fumes so often. If it had been alive I’m sure it would have screamed for rescue. We headed for Galway and decided to take the ferry as a shortcut. Only to find that when we got off the ferry, we had taken a wrong turn for 2 1/2 hours. We met some very helpful farmers who gave us tea and biscuits and told us we were in County Clare. They described us as Thelma and Louise. We lied and told them we were sisters. They introduced us to their cows and told us about the famous festival, Lisdoonvarna. They were a friendly and flirtatious bunch.

We continued on our journey and came across a very posh looking hotel in the middle of nowhere, we were desperate for caffeine and even though we had been sleeping in the car for days, had basically been using the ocean as a shower, and probably had branches in our hair, we were so naïve we thought there would be no harm in having breakfast at this fancy place.

We hid in the corner with our greasy hair and sandy clothes, trying to avoid the eyes of the very well dressed hostess who served us with a composed but unimpressed face. Just as we were talking about relieving this place of our stench, an old limping countryman appeared at our table and said,
‘You two girls look like horse women,’ He was missing a few teeth.

It turned out he was the husband of our hostess and co-owner of the hotel. He had some donkeys and trekking horses on the land that he needed help with. For the rest of that day, we had a great time helping this man with his animals. Much to the disdain of his wife he gave us free food and packed us some things from the kitchen for our journey. He also offered us a place to stay for the night, but we declined, eager to move on to the next adventure.

We continued driving for several hours and when it got to 2:00 in the morning we noticed we had barely any petrol. We were once again in a very rural location and decided to pull over to plan our next move. We saw an inebriated man walking down the middle of the road and asked him if there was a 24-hour petrol station. He told us the pub he was going to could help us out. We didn't believe him but decided in our youthful ignorance to give him a lift to the pub. When we got there, we entered this charming place that had signs everywhere saying things like, ‘unsupervised children will be sold into slavery’.

They were having a lock-in and greeted us in Gaelic. I felt bad that the small amount of Ulster Gaelic I had learned was useless. Thankfully, they laughed at us and joined us in karaoke. They also allowed us to fill the tank with the petrol pumps that were outside. Many of the older men kindly offered us a place to stay, but we were not that naïve. We knew it was time to stop somewhere for a real rest and a shower. The drunken inhabitants directed us to a B&B that could help. They told us there would be signs.

We followed the homemade signs for many miles, but tiredness got the better of us and we pulled over, wrapped up in our sleeping bags, and dozed in the car. When we woke up the next morning, we continue to follow the signs only to find it was a local prank. The signs led to a graveyard.

We had a good laugh and moved on. The next night we stayed on a beach. We lit a fire; ate the food we had bought at Aldi with the names we couldn't pronounce. We pretended we were on holiday. We danced to sad songs, we danced to happy songs, and watched the stars, talking about where our lives would be in 10 years’ time.

As a mother now, looking back at the life we had, I would be in fear for my children if they did the same. For us though, it was a time of freedom, discovery, and realisation that we had to make changes to get the life we wanted. We were the friends we needed at the time; we're still friends, but just a different kind. She is now a fully trained vet nurse and has a strong relationship with her family and still travels. I have settled in Scotland, with a family of my own, in a much more relaxed style of living.