Blether on the 13:45 Edinburgh to Glasgow

I listen to them march through conversations…
Dreams of an overnight stay, their most recent electricity bills, Kathleen’s husband being no good at haggling with Sky
“Every time we see their adverts he tells me how much we are piying, we need tae dae sumin bout that, it’s nae good he says… For all he is aw vocal, he’s no good at the haggling… but that’s his job, a do everything else”
“Glaikit"

They have moved on to the surplus of free juice vouchers they have in their drawers…
“The time runs away wi ye"

“Oh av hud a good day, that was a good spot Kathleen”
“It was good tae wasn’t it”

“If we had known we could have booked facials”
“Ye learn aw the time, don’t ye”

….
The glasses go on. Fumbling begins on phones. Passing it back and forwards to each other.
“See that”
“Mine doesny huv that”
“See a wouldv missed that”
“You type it in”

Kathleen is more trained in 5pm and Glasgow’s It Is On…
Now Wowcher
There’s anticipated silence whilst they have a wee nosey…

“Ye get cheese with that anaw don’t ye”

“A bumped into Caroline at The Fort the other day…”
“Oh aye she always makes ye feel a right state, so she does”
“Oh aye true Kathy, a thought god my hair is a sight”
“And that’s her at her work tae”
“What was she saying?
“Oh Kathy, ye know there’s nae much time when yer getting your pies… a was just passing the time away, but she was working the till”

“Oh a huv wanted to try their lipsticks”
“That colour would suit ye.. would match that Edinburgh wool jumper ye huv”

“That wan gees ye ice cream with yer fish”

“Oh let’s do this later oan. A like this bit of the journey”
“Oh aye”

The phone cases flip. The glasses return to their cases.
Silence.
I can see Janey’s reflection hitting mine in the window. Our features merge.

…
…
…
…
…

“Oh better check the lottery numbers”

The whole internet check list rolls along again.

“Nut no even wan”
“What aboot you Kathy?”

“Tickets please”
“A huv a travel card, do I look over 60?”
They howl, like clockwork
And I smile with my whole body

“We put in ladies blouses didn’t we”
“Oh aye that’s nice Kathy… it’s 39 quid, that’s dear, so it is Kathy”
“We know how to pick them doll”
“Drawstring, tucked in at the front, a need everything covered…”
“That’s a pity Janey”
“Maybe a would like it”
“But ye know yersel hen”

“A saw a pair of shoes at The Fort, you cin git them in pink and black but a wanted the blue wans…
The girl in the shop telt me a cin git them at the outlet
But by the time yuv paid fur petrol, defeats the purpose”

We go through a tunnel and a message starts up over the PA system…
“Sounds like yer in a plane, so it does”

“Janey do y’ever get stuck fur words, that happened to me there”
“A couldny find ma words the other night walking hame fae the pub, a didny want to ask Jerry cos a would git a riddy”
“That’s us here”
“Wantty git the train hame?”
“D’ ye wanty go tae The Piper?”
“For a double???”
“Oh aye”
“Smashin”

I think what I would say to Kathy and Janey?
Speak openly
Be you, and all will ring true.

Who will be the Janey to my Kathy?
What parts of my friendships will I carry forward when they are celebrated turning their age
I think to my gang…who know how to blether
We already try out new lipsticks on each other, and the game of whose is whose when we rake through our bags to return them the morning after
The conversations about comparing bus fares now and then are creeping in
But then we have a talent of switching to messin about like the kids we were at school, “what would you do if…”
Our attention is yours to find out who you saw at B&Q/soft play… or at that random pub at the bottom of Leith Walk, the one we joined the 80th birthday karaoke party and felt compelled to eat the sausage rolls, even though they weren't vegetarian
Making jokes about our partners going through Valencia’s passport control “you can keep him if ye want!”
We spit out our inner monologues with glorified microscopic detail, without fear
“You need to get on the prune juice mate”
We have created space here to hold the things we keep within
Until we are back in each others orb
Living time amongst the stories we pull out when it is your turn to have the piss ripped out of you.

I text my pal…“I’m about to get off the train, see you soon. I have this overwhelming feeling of coming home.”