I fiddle about with my tie. Fingers as clumsy as fat sausages. It’s not easy to put on a brand-new stiff blazer at the best of times. But even more difficult as I’m trembling like a leaf with nerves. Mum checks me out when I am as ready as I’ll ever be.
‘There, you look smart, Elizabeth.’ She straightens my tie. Not convinced, I face myself in the mirror. A pale, frightened face gazes back at me.
‘I think I’m going to be sick.’ I declare. Mum fetches me a glass of water. Grateful, I sip the cool water and begin to feel slightly calmer. Today, being my first day, Mum gives me a lift to school.
As the school gates loom in front of me, a feeling of dread forms in the pit of my stomach. Like a cold, hard, heavy brass ball. Nausea overwhelms me. Mum touches my shoulder as I start to walk away from the car.
‘Good luck, love.’ Her face wears a worried expression. Reckon I need all the luck I can get, I think, walking slowly through the gates. Surrounded by hundreds of other pupils, I worry I may get crushed. Perhaps that would be for the best. A blessing in disguise.
Once on the grounds of the school, I frantically scan all the unfamiliar faces. Longing to see a friend or two. To make me less lonely. All I see are mainly bigger and more self-assured pupils. Brimming over with confidence. While I am stood here, as quiet and timid as a mouse.
At last. There’s Anne. My best friend from primary school. Anne’s face is tense. Just like mine. Until her eyes fall on me. Then her face lights up. Smiling a megawatt grin as she hurries towards me. We embrace. So glad of our friendship.
A friendship that helps us get through a difficult day. Full of fresh experiences. Noises, sights, smells, and ideas that are foreign to me. New teachers, confusing colours, chaotic breaktimes. A busyness I’ve never known before.
Yet, there’s an excitement inside me. That takes over from my nerves. This day has turned into an adventure. An adventure I am ready and willing to have now. I welcome all these strange things with open arms. Happy to learn different things.
Much later that day, when I lie down to go to sleep, exhaustion I have never known before rolls over me. I think about Anne and me together, enjoying high school. But when I shut my eyes, all I see are thousands of maroon blazers filing through the gates of my new school.