New systems, ways of doing things, masks to wear. Puzzles of how to walk through the shops, which way to go? How to get to the fresh pasta section when the arrows went in the wrong direction? How to get to the bananas when they were beside the queue for the till? How to get back again if you forgot something?
Now I just walk, I carry on and I keep thinking that I am going to walk away, around the back of the corner shop, long after I don't have to anymore. I have my path and the place where I turn off by heart now. I only once forgot to wear my mask and didn't notice until I said hello to someone and wondered why they were looking a bit worried. 'Oops, I am so sorry, I have forgotten to put on my mask!' I was mortified and rushed out the shop, too late to sort the lapse in awareness!
For the first few months, I was driven a bit mad. It seemed like no one understood nor appreciated what it felt like to not talk to anyone all day except a few words with the person behind the till in the shop. The supermarket staff have no idea how much they have meant to me this last year.
But then I decided to try playing a board game with my dad on Skype. It worked, brilliantly and what a laugh. That was a celebration in itself. It became our regular Saturday morning pastime. The laughs, the shouting as he can't always hear me so well, the colours as the board games were set out, as the sunlight changed in our rooms and through the cameras. He had to do all the moving and shots for me. It was funny to ask him to move a card or whatever, ever so slightly, as I like things lined up just right. We loved it so much that we have carried on with our board games, only now safe and sound, in person, floating happily inside the bubble!
Things changed. I slowly got used to the new ways, the new life. And I loved it. It has been a celebration for me. The peace, the time, not having to socialise, having other and new ways to socialise using the internet. A whole world that doesn't actually exist but has become my lifeline. The laughs, the learning, the sharing. The ability to state my views, however strange or different they might be and always have at least a few people looking at and "listening" to what I have to say or what I think. I can comment on something and even be "listened" too without feeling silly, without the conversation being changed and without being ignored. We all get our say in this new world, even the quiet, shy ones. Sometimes that could be a bad thing but mostly it is perfect, another celebration. A celebration for those of us with a quiet or different way of doing things, a new way and voice for us to be heard by. I celebrate and love that.
I, after the first horrible torture of only being allowed out once a day, could now go walks as I liked. I could get out and get my fresh air. I didn't care that I couldn't travel. We are so lucky around here, there are so many walks, so many wonders. The world of nature is my next and main celebration. I love it! Soon enough I was allowed out again, for longer walks. I always look forward to the better weather when I, along with my camera, can go out and get lost in the world of nature. That is when the sounds of the river, the birds, the smell of fresh air, the flowers, the sight of the butterflies, the colours of the plants, the sun sparkling and shining on the water, in the raindrops, are my celebration. Even other and every time of the year, the ice and its patterns in the winter, the colours and leaves in Autumn, the first budding, colour and light of flowers again for the new year.
So, I sit down by the river. I close my eyes and I listen. I try to smell but it is hard to work out just what I can smell. I imagine that I can smell the leaves, the freshness of the air, the earth, even the water has a smell. It is so much easier to hear the birds and all their different songs, the river and its never-ending symphony. I feel the sun on me, one of my favourite things and can see its light on my closed eyelids. Sometimes there are shrieks, laughter, splashes, barking dogs but they all, eventually, move on and leave me to my magical, peaceful world. I can feel the small stones, earth, sand with my hands and fingers. I feel the heat of the sun or the coolness of the breeze. I know when the sun goes behind the clouds. Mostly it soon comes back, on the good, lucky days! I take a picnic and taste whatever treat I have that day, always a bit disappointed when I finish my lovely snack but then I take a bit of chewing gum to clean my teeth and that too is my minty treat. That minty taste brings me back to the earth and I pick up my camera again.
So, this whole time has become a celebration to me. It has been a terrible, horrific and terrifying time for people. I have experienced bad news and know people that have gone through hell although they are getting there, whatever they have had to face and however their worlds have been changed. But there has been a good side. For me, that good side has thrived, and I celebrate every minute of the time, peace and different kind of world that I have experienced.