Scotland's Stories

Bill Ewan, Galloway, Scallowa’
Creamola, Sweetheart Stout, Alloa

Wee Cooper, Will Fyffe, Coulter’s Candy
Hogmanay, AC/DC, Thomson, Dandy

Post, Toast, Five Letters, To Egg On, Hawk
Keiller’s Jams, Glamis, Bute, Bonnie, Clyde, Dock

Hurdies, Corries, Auld Lang Syne
Douglas Fir, Waltzer, Scot’s Pine

Cone, Wellington, Ethelred, Herring, Coke, Rum, Doo
Mackenzie, Hudson, Singing Butler, Bidie-In, Hom Bru

Lulu, Poolewe, Close-knit, Wool Gathering, Clan
Davie Sneddon, Groundskeeper Willie, Desperate Dan

Beam me up, Scottie, Westie, Buckie, White Heather
Para Handy, Moray Cup, Fly Cup, Blether

Banter, Bothie Ballad, Sheiling
Fisher, Trawlermen, Reeling

Caiperceilidh, Waillie Waillie, Folk Pub
Bon Accordion and Fiddle Club

Golf, Four Marys, Flora, Scone Palace
Northern Lights, Midnight Ploughboys, Dallas

Flying Scotsman, Ticklin’ Jocks, Fox
Laurie, Doctor Hoochin’, Well Read Phone Box

Local Hero, Fraser, Burra, Broch, Loch, Cave, Fingal’s
Basket Birl, Wicker Man, Hebridean Yarn, Posh Knit, Pringle’s

Shell Suit, Sanday, Brownie, Oatcake, Broth, Simmer Dim
Cromack, Biggerstaff, Bond, Wetsuit Swim

Dook, Bowes, Lion Rampant, Thistle, Partick
Oliphant, Fyne, Gael, Baltic, Arctic

Doric, Gaelic, Lilt
Wedding, Tackle, Kilt

Scotch Egg, Frankie Boyled, Lightly Poached, Finnan Haddie
Bill Black, Pig Spree, Kedgeree, Full Scottish, Breakfast Tea, Caddie

Green Hand, Black Watch, Red Kite, Gold Mine, Dark Isle
A9, Irn Bru, Tattoo, Royal Mile

Grand March, Midden, Tappit Hen
James Dun’s House, Tenement, Close, Glen

Campbell’s, Macbeth, Rod Stewart, Stage Strutting
Whyte & Mackay, Porridge, Shotputting

Kale Castin’, Shiftin’ Bobbins
MacGuffin, Puffin, Dunrobins

Robert the Bruce, Patrick, Hatrick, Try
Deep Fried Pizza, Macaronibetter Pie

Black Bun, Tattie Scone, Nick Nairn, Tain, Cawdor
Jim Watt, Scotland the What, Harry Lauder

Keep Right on to the, Tarmacadam, Wood
Falkirk Wheel, Molly Weir, Holyrood

Peter Capaldi, Malcolm Tucker
Westminster Spin Doctor, Sweary F*cker

Jim Naughtie, Graeme Garden, Goodie
Cruden Bay, City Rollers, Woody

Tall Ship, Tug of War, Puddin’ Race
Red Deer, Archie Hind, Green Place

Gleneagles, Ryder Cup, You’ll Have Had Your I. M. Jollys
Bogendreep, Randolph’s Leap, High Road, Semple, Temple, Follys

Dounreay, Darnaway, Oaks, Yews, Rowans
Highland Toffee, Fudge, Chews, McCowan’s

McEwan’s Export to quench the thirst
Gentlemen let the ladies come first

Wallace, Simpson’s, Lawson’s, Dyce
Aye or Die! Fly Cemetery Slice

One Foot in the Grave, Brave, Quakers, Ready Brek
Outlander, Heyelander, Plaidy, Green Lady, Shrek

Broons, Jackies, Mackie’s, Beanos
Muchalls, Chateau Largo Vinos

Jocktoberfest, Bash Street, Stramash, Mince, Tatties
Reestit Mutton, Bannocks, Brose, Hoes, Moles, Rattys

Windswept Sailings, Whisky Trailings, Glenfinnan, Glen Keith
NC500, Miles Better, Sunshine on Leith

Taps Aff, Staffa, Skara Brae
Joan Eardley, V&A

Duddingston, Raeburn, Peat Castin’, Mullan, Peterheid
Cullen Skink, Salmon Pink, White, Puddin’, Black, Polony Reid

Jammie Dodgers, Eightsome, Lancers, Sword Dancers
Pheasant Plucker, Sporting Lodger, Let me get lucky, Chancers

Heel and Toe, Curling, Stone Skimming, Skean Dhu
Brae, Lister-Kaye, Otter, Selkie, Heilan’ Coo

Buttery, Half Loaf, Fisherman’s Mission
Avoch Eye, Black Isle Optician

Givin’ the Glad Aye, Aye
Comin’ Through the Scotch & Wry

First Foot, Coo’s Tail, Grassic, Clydesdale, MacPhail
Laird, Cockpen, Elderflower Wine, Younger’s Pale Ale

Camp Coffee, Maxwell’s Rant, Neil M Grant, Forres Mechanics
Brogues, Rogues, Fiddlers’ Rally, Bain Hospital Annexe

Corby, Tattiebogle, Glenbogle, Monarch, Stags
Tunnock’s Teacakes Aberfoyled in Japanese Flags

Saltire, Andrew Carnegie, Clashmore Hall
Brodgar Ring, Scottish Cup, Highland Ball

Kirrie, Muirland Willie, Watt & Grant’s, Grouse
Jim MacLeod, Birls Allowed, To a Mouse

Midge, Muir Mathieson Tunies
Free Church, Scripts, Eye Tests, Unis

Bookbugs, Bacon Lugs, Fresh Ayr, Canned
Lock Ins, Joy of Sets, James Coutts’ Band

Team, Call Up, Eleven, Freedom, Broos go doon
Jura, Islay, St Clair, P&O, Brigadoon

Forth Bridge, of Allan, Wells, Billy Whizz
Voe, Ivanhoe, Muckle Roe, Bucks, Fizz

Fair Scunnered, Celtic Cross
Jackie Stewart, Sphagnum Moss

Stirling, Rob Roy, Castle Stoorie
Dunnet, Bunnet, Tartan Toorie

Baffies, NAAFIs, Half Day Closes
Shortie, Tablet, Mackintosh Roses

Wait a minty, Pandrop, Scone
Fringe, Hairdryer, Monty Don

Willie Miller, Codona’s Fair
Eilean Donan, Balmoral, Blair

Skirlie, Bagpipes, Sullom Oil
Oh Jean, Brodie, Susan Boyle

Singing Kettle, Digestive, McVities
Rhoda Bulter, McGonagall Ditties

Burns Nights, Tartan Tights, Cutty Sark
Pet Chooks, Beckwith Books, Mansfield Park

Echt Young Fermers, Fine Chiels
Dolly Parton, Sheep, Creels

Mackerel, Skye, Acres
Inverneill, Gow, Bakers

Am I Right or a Meringue, Tea Dance, Bourach, Take the Floor
Wildcat, Weasel, Stoat, Futret, Foxhole, Toddy, Whisky Galore

Rowing, Javelin Throwing, Highland Flings
Marian and Max, The Anderson, Moira Sings

Scottish Blend, Geery, PG Tips
Ghillies, Shootings, Henry Phipps

Beauly, Elm, Woodzstock, Pea and Ham, Hughie
Lead On, Collie, Flowers of the Forest, Struie

Fittie, Bluebell Match, Dalglish Win
Dunottar, Bright Water, Tonic, Gordon’s Gin

Bell’s, Clootie Wells, Plum Duff, Soor Plooms
Granite City Winner, Bonnie Blooms

Newly Sprung, Puddock, Scottish Field, Rugby Pitch, Putting
Fine Loon, Torry Quine, Annie, Aggie, Staggies, Rutting

Old Deer, New Deer, Red Tin
Nessie, Jessie, Big Yin

Haroldswick, Walls, Hadrian, Kirsty McColl’s, Singing Sands
Stagecoach, Shalders, Shetland Bus, Rebus, Sherlock, Pipe Bands

Banshee, Kelpie, Shinty, Hammer Throw
Berwick, Lerwick, Ludovic, Scapa Flow

Pugwash, Lassie
Silver Tassie

Pinkie, Willie Winkie, Naked Rambler
Custard Cream, Dream Ring, Burberry, Brambler

Coo’s Heid Pie, Munro High, Cairns
Dolphin, Porpoise, Glasgow Boys, Bairns

Peerie Trows, Trews, Fly Fishing, Bird Watching, Hill Walking
Stanley Baxter, Speyside, Still Game, Deer Stalking

Haggis, Neeps, Tatties, Saxa Vord
Sebastian, Belle of Bon-Accord

Inverurie, Strip the Willows, Badger and Toad
Yell, Graham Bell, Last Call, End of the Road

Up Helly Aa, Longboat Blaze
Skin So Soft, Midgie Haze

Arbroath Smokie, Potterton, Men’s Sheds, Indoor Bowls
Chestnut, Craic, of Dornoch, Madonna, Morning Rolls

Sausage Bap, Papa Stour, Wullie, Soapy
MacAroon, Caramel Wafer, The Coapy

Branston Pickle, Sawney Bean
Buzzard, Honeyman, Sting, McQueen

Dandie Dinmont, Sheltie, Terrier
Stornaway to Ullapool Ferryer

Skerries, Cowsea, Lossie, Moothie, Button Box
But and Ben, Tammie Norrie, Bubbly Jocks

Osprey, Kestrel, Falcon, Crest, Kin, Winnie Ewing
Stephen Hendry, Potted Heid, Stovies Stewing

Woollens, Cuillins, Snowballs, Kettle’s Biled
Chewin’ the Fat Sketches, Tate & Lyled

Lovat Green, Harris Tweed, Argyle Socks
Weel Kents, Tennent’s, Lipton’s, Telford’s Locks

Jim, Deborah, Yule, have had your tea, a question rhetorically posed
Those who arrive by cruise ship may find Invergordon closed.