Hazel Allan's story about Lamb

'Lamb' by Bernard MacLaverty didn’t necessarily change my life but it certainly made a lasting impression on me. I was fourteen when I read it for the first time as part of a school project. Bernard had lived next door to me when I was growing up so it made sense that my first adult novel should be by somebody I knew. I instantly became completely absorbed by it. To put it simply 'Lamb' opened my eyes.

As a teenager and an aspiring writer 'Lamb' was an inspiration to me. It taught me that literature had emotion, that it could make you cry buckets and that it could haunt the imagination for a long time after the final page had been read. This book was an awakening for me. Never before had a story evoked such strong emotion and in doing so it uncovered my own interest in writing about the big emotions such as love, grief and being an outsider. MacLaverty continues to be a most important influence in that respect.

The beginning of the story takes place in a reform school for young boys run by a religious order of brothers. Michael Lamb - otherwise known as Brother Sebastian - struggles with the brutal regime, one that teaches "a little of God and a lot of fear” and he decides to run away taking with him 12 year old epileptic boy Owen.
For Lamb this is an act of love and salvation, he sees it as rescuing a damaged boy from a place of no hope. However, it is viewed by the police and the media as a kidnapping and immediately he is a wanted man. Living as father and son both characters begin to see life for the first time and in their escape they experience a sense of happiness and fulfilment that is unfamiliar to them both. But this is fleeting. When Lamb starts to run out of money and the net closes around them he has a decision to make, resulting in a finale that is as shocking as it is heartbreaking.

This was the first book that I read that didn’t have a happy ending. It was a startling introduction to the concept that justice does not always prevail, a sudden induction into the world of social realism. It was the first book I read that made me cry. MacLaverty’s writing is never ‘flowery’ but is dark and honest. At fourteen, I was desperate to know about the truths of life however distressing and grim they might have been. I was ready to break free from my sheltered upbringing. And here I was being drawn into a story that actually made me feel like I was involved in the relationship with the man and boy. I began to understand the basic human need for affection and the sacrifices that are often made in the name of love. I remember feeling so desperately sorry for Owen, a boy who was not much older than I was at the time and yet our lives could not have been more different. A boy who I wanted to reach out and help. A boy who I would later come across in many forms during my career working with vulnerable and “damaged” children. Owen Kane was the first character in literature that I really invested my feelings in. As a result, when the gut wrenching climax came I was left so emotionally shattered that I felt that my life would never be the same again.