That was a Day that Changed My Life and the Lives of My Parents Too by Sheenagh & Alastair Hardie
Sheenagh Hardie’s story as related by her Dad Alastair Hardie (and Sheenagh herself)
St Valentine’s Day 1962, was a day we will never forget. Heavy snow was falling. My wife Helen and I trudged through it with our four-month old daughter, Sheenagh, snug in her blue and white carry cot. We made for a ‘bus bound for the Sick Childrens’ Hospital to see a Specialist there. Let’s hear from Sheenagh as if she might have told what happened next and how it was to affect her life…
“I cried a lot when the Specialist examined me. He was exceptionally nice but I’d had a tiring journey and a long wait before meeting him. I’d been weighed, prodded, measured and shuffled about. I was hungry, irritable and I showed it. I struggled and pulled the doctor’s stethoscope from round his neck more than once. But he was patient with me. He held me up to the light, turning me this way and that. He tested my re-actions and listened to my heartbeats. He examined my hands and feet closely, pressing them backforward and forward. Mum and Dad were worried.
He was looking for certain signs and features to help reach a decision. He didn’t hurry and after a while confirmed the worst – the signs of Down’s Syndrome were there. He said he could find no trace of heart disease and that a Down’s baby could be born into any family in the land, no matter what age the parents were – Mum and Dad shouldn’t blame themselves. The Specialist then explained that Down’s are very lovable children, fond of music and fun but can be determined and stubborn at times. In later years some can be very hard workers, never bored by repetitive work, although they can lose concentration.
The nice Doctor was a busy man but he spent a long time chatting about me and the problems Mum and Dad might face as I grew up - it wasn’t a rosy picture! He realised that the whole nightmare had been a great shock to them and they might not waken from it for a long time to come. It would in fact change their lives! One thing I didn’t like him for was when he said Mum and Dad should think about my brother’s feelings and consider putting me into a home! (Although I didn’t realise it at the time I was determined to prove that Doctor wrong!).
I was exhausted by the time a nurse came in with cups of tea and I fell asleep. She said a few words of comfort … “You may first want to reject your daughter – that’s a normal reaction. You’ll soon find, however, that you’ll come to love your wee girl just as much as you would any baby – even more so. And you’ll both be wiser and closer and benefit from the experience, and so will your wee girl.” She was a nice nurse.
Mum and Dad sorrowed a lot together in those early days. They hated wakening up each morning and wished that they could sleep on and on and on … It was like a bad dream. They wondered why I had been sent to them like this. They felt sorry for me. Then one day they realised this was the way I’d been born; I would know no different life with the worries that grown-ups have although other things would worry me. They had come to their senses and felt that instead of feeling sorry for me they were really feeling sorry for themselves.
That was a day that changed my life and the lives of my parents too!
* * *
But that was many, many years ago. My life has been very full since then. Let me tell you about it – that’s if you want to know…
*I liked being in the Brownies and Guides and gained five badges.
*In 1981, I won the Baker of the Year Award for the under 21’s by baking a French Fruit Flan.
*I was the first winner of the Kyle Apter Award for Achievement in 1988 and was interviewed on BBC Radio 2 on the Jamieson Show in London in 1992.
*I joined my Church when I was 21 and attend every week.
*I have met two of Edinburgh’s Lady Provosts, the Mayor and the Sheriff of Nottingham, the actress Jenny Agutter, snooker player Stephen Hendry, Daniel O’Donnell and actress Lesley Fitzsimons who is a good friend of mine. A few years ago I was a guest at the Royal Garden Party at Holyrood Palace representing the Down’s Syndrome Association,
*I like going on holiday and have been to Canada, Switzerland, Newfoundland, Norway, old Yugoslavia and many times to Austria.
*I have attended my Training Centre for 30 years and have worked there in the Bakery, Pottery, Puppetry, Weaving, Stained Glass and the Canteen and Woodwork departments. I like working with wood and have made doll’s houses, lamps, drums, bread-boards, musical instruments and I recently made a garden seat for my Dad.
*I help in a shop twice a week, in the Down’s Syndrome Office on a morning and attend Telford College once a week. For several years I was a member of the Executive Committee of the Down’s Association
*In my spare time I like writing and drawing and have played the piano for over 12 years and am now learning the accordion. I have also knitted many, many blanket squares for people in Romania and Albania. Every week I attend the Octagon Club in Currie,
*My Dad and Mum wrote my life story in a book called ‘Why Me?’ as if written by me. I was saddened when my Mum died 10 years ago after a long illness, when I nursed her – I do miss her.
My different life really started long ago on that St Valentine’s Day – a day my Dad will always remember!
However, I’m glad to say I seemed destined to show what I could do and have proved that Specialist Doctor wrong when he suggested I should be put into a home! Don’t you agree?!?”
