Home Is Where The Mammy Is
Home was my mammy. When we came in from school and she wasn’t there, we would all ask ‘ where’s ma mammy?’
Me: ‘Where’s ma mammy?
Seamus would reply ’ She’s at aunty Cathy’s.'
John : ‘Where’s ma mammy?’ Same answer.
John: ‘When is she coming back?’
Seamus: ‘She’ll be back in time to make the dinner.’
John: ‘Whit are we havin’ ?’
Pat : 'Where’s ma ma?’
Me : ‘She’ s at Aunty Cathy’s. She’ll be back soon to make the dinner.’
Stephanie: ‘Where’s ma ma?’
We all chorus ‘SHE’S AT AUNTY CATHY’S’
‘When is she comin hame?’ asked Stephanie.
My mammy was hame for us. It was unusual for her not to be there.
‘Mammy, can I get a piece n jam?’
‘Yer dinner’s nearly ready’.
‘Aye, but am starvin’ ‘.
‘Aye, alright then but ye better eat yer dinner!’
There was no chance we wouldn’t eat oor dinner.
Stephanie didn’t like peas and Seamus liked his sausages burnt to a cinder so they no longer looked like meat and Pat didn’t like meat that looked like meat either. Nae mince for him. a scotch pie maybe.
My mammy managed to satisfy all oor culinary needs. If it was mince, she had a separate serving without peas or carrots in it because Stephanie didn’t like peas. Just plain mince for her - nae onions either. She did the same with the home made soup. A separate pot for Stephanie with no peas in it.
Pat got sausage or sometimes he would manage a pie. Stewing steak was just for Sundays.
Mind you, on week nights it was more likely egg and chips - or something with chips.
Sunday dinners were scrumptious.
It was always ma who made the dinner.
There was no microwave in those days. We didn’t eat our pizza or burger standing up in the kitchen, rushing oot the door to go play wi’ oor pals. Okay so we didn’t have a dining table but we all ate together at the same time, even if it was on oor laps in front of Blue Peter or Crackerjack.
She always fed us.
She let us be weans, only shouting at us when the din of us fighting got unbearable. There was no such thing as ‘grounding’. Ma wasnae daft. She’d have to put up with us in the house and get nae peace to get on with her work. Mind you, I don’t think we got up to anything bad. The worst was going where we weren’t supposed to. Like when I fell headfirst between two wooden garages. We had been jumping from roof to roof and I should have stopped when it started raining . The corrugated iron roof got slippy and down I went. I made my brother swear not to tell. A scraped knee (I was lucky) was easily explained.
What was so special about hame?
She was always there, that’s what.