Poe Wrote on Both: A Story of Riddles by Michael

I had lived the years of my life inside two rooms. A bedroom and a bathroom. Both plainly decorated and with few pieces of furniture. In the bathroom there was simply a shower, a toilet and a sink. And in the bedroom there was a bed, a chest of drawers, a bedside table and a mirror. Also, there were no windows or doors (except the one separating the two rooms). Instead there was a small metal hatch in the bedroom.
I was already washed and dressed for the day. I stood in front of the mirror. I don’t know why I fussed over my appearance; there was no one to see it. However, every morning I made sure I was made up. Wearing my red and white stockings that were ripped at the knee, my small white denim shorts and my corset. My corset was of great importance to me. It had once been white but had turned an off-white, almost yellowish colour, it was decorated with a red heart that was about three inches across, and this was stitched on the left side, where the heart would be. After getting dressed I had styled my long red hair into two buns at the back of my head.
It was at this point I stood in front of the mirror. I don’t know why I was put in this place. I couldn’t remember life without these walls. With the exception of one image. A tree, covered in pink blossoms. A sign of spring. Regardless, I had no idea why I was there, or where there was. Life was not unpleasant, relaxing if nothing else.
I was startled from my thoughts by a metal clang. The hatch had opened. I walked over to it and looked within; as usual there lay three things. A small paper packet, an empty glass and a book, all of which sat upon a tea tray. I lifted the tray and placed it on the bedside table. I sat myself upon the bed.
Firstly, I opened the packet and found within a circular tablet. I did not know what it did but every morning it came and every morning I took it so I placed it on my tongue and crushed it with my teeth. Once the bitter taste was gone from my mouth my attention turned to the book. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. I knew where I had left off the last time, page 60.
“You should learn not to make personal remarks,’ Alice said with some severity: “It’s very rude.”
The Hatter opened his eyes at hearing this; but all he said was, ‘Why is a raven like a writing desk?’”
The famous riddle … why is a raven like a writing desk? One did wonder. Surely, the first step in solving the riddle is to find out how a raven is like a writing desk.
I thought … I thought for a long time. All the thinking made me thirsty so I picked up the empty glass and went into the bathroom. I placed the glass under the tap and turned. However, I did not hear the gentle trickle of water I had expected.

* * *

“Squaaaaaaawk!” went the tap. I looked at it quizzically. The sound kept repeating itself, only getting louder each time. I blinked. By the time my eyes had opened a huge black beak, a foot in length, had forced its way through the tap as water would. Within a minute the sound had stopped and the beak had removed itself from the faucet. Only, it was attached to the body of a bird, a huge bird. A four-foot tall raven to be precise.
With its inky eyes it looked at me. “No!” it screeched.
“No what, sir?” I replied.
“I am not saying it!”
“You’re not saying what?”
“Nevermore.” The bird retorted.
“But I wasn’t going to ask you to say ‘Nevermore’.”
“Regardless,” the creature said with a tone of great superiority, “you called me sir, address me simply as ‘Raven’.”
“Sorry, sir … I mean … raven, I just thought–”
It cut me off, “Well you thought wrong! You might as well just give up altogether!”
“Have you never heard the saying,” I cleared my throat and proudly recited, “if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.”
“Of course I have heard it. But I have also heard it said that children should be seen and not heard. Perhaps you should take heed of that!”
“That saying is outdated”.
“Well, if we are here to pick holes in each others words may I say something about your ‘try and try again’ lark. Surely that is but a way to make a definite nuisance of yourself.”
“You are being terribly rude!”
Angrily, it said, “You are in no position to talk about being rude, young lady.”
“Well, this is my domain, so I am allowed to be. I didn’t even invite you here.” I said a little too proudly, “Come to think of it, why are you here?”
“How am I to know? Anyway, I am bored, entertain me or show me the way out.”
“Well, considering that I do not know the way out I must entertain you, shall we sing a song?”
“Ravens like me are not terribly well known for their singing capabilities.”
“Well, perhaps we could … play charades.”
“One is not inclined to such unintelligent whimsy.”
“Well how about we try riddles!”
“That sounds like a lovely idea, I shall begin.” The Raven cleared its throat, “How many beans can you put into an empty bag?”
“Well, that my friend depends on the bag, how big is it? Is it paper? For if it is, it will tear because of the liquid the beans are in.”
“Oh my dear girl, I am not talking about baked beans, but butterbeans. And also, the size of the bag has no relevance. But, for your sake, this bag.” It said this last part while, with a great flourish, producing a brown paper bag from under his wing.
I examined the bag, it looked big enough to hold a lot of beans, but I couldn’t estimate a number that could be even remotely correct. “I give up.”
“One.”
“I know one thing, Raven, and that is that this bag could hold much more than one bean.”
“Aaah, do not be so hasty. I asked how much could be put in an empty bag, after one bean has been added, the bag is no longer empty, correct?”
After thinking I replied, “It appears that you are right.”
“It appears so, but alas, I am not. One could drop two beans in at exactly the same time, then neither would land before the other meaning they both landed in an empty bag.”
“Well, yes, I suppose so, but how would you know if they had landed at the same time, you would need someone to be in the bag to check.”
The Raven looked at me, and then at the bag, “Well, we could give it a try.”
“What? I couldn’t fit into that bag, I am much too large for such a small bag.”
“It is not a question of how big you are, but how the size of the bag is deceiving.” In one fowl swoop of its wing, the Raven pushed me into the bag.

* * *

I was falling through a cavern of brown paper. I had been falling for a few minutes when I decided to look up, I could no longer see the opening of the bag. In total, I fell for what must have been about ten minutes. I landed with a small thud upon the base of the bag. Within seconds of me landing, two huge butterbeans landed, one either side of me. I looked at them, there was something not right about them.
They had writing on them; one had “B13” upon it, the other “π”.
I was clueless as to what the B13 meant, but I knew what π was. I recited it over in my head, “3.14159265. Yes, that is correct.”
Clunk. I heard it to my left, like a door unlocking. My head turned and alas, there was a door in the bag. I stood up and went over to it. I placed my hand on the doorknob, it wrenched itself away from me and the door threw open.
On the other side there was a beautiful forest, not like a rainforest, not even like a British forest, but it was a fairytale forest. It would not have surprised me if there had been a dragon in there. I stepped out into the fairytale kingdom that lay ahead.

* * *

I heard the door shut and turned around; there was no longer a door.
I blinked, and when my eyes opened again I was surrounded not by a group of trees but by a thick screen of grey. It felt like I was standing in the thickest fog.
“I fly, yet I have no wings. I cry, yet I have no eyes. Darkness follows me; lower light I never see. What am I?” A voice echoed through the space. Another riddle!
Well, something that flies and has no wings essentially floats no? And crying without eyes is simply tears falling from nowhere. And if it can’t see the light below it, and darkness follows it then the darkness must be below it, like a shadow.
So something that floats and drops water with a shadow beneath it.
“A cloud!” As I said that I saw the large grey arms that had enveloped me move away leaving only a few wisps of cloud.

* * *

Again I was in the forest. I nervously took a few steps forward, worried about what was to come. But after some time I reassured myself that everything was OK. It was night in the forest, not completely dark however; there was the fullest full moon above. In among the trees and flowers were fireflies. They looked like fairies among the vegetation. The trees were huge, bigger than any I could remember.
After I had been walking for about a quarter of an hour I came across an oak tree that was 20 feet around and an immeasurable distance high. On its trunk in big letters were the words:
“I went into the woods and got it. I sat down to seek it. I brought it home with me because I couldn't find it. What is it?”
Another riddle. This place seemed to be fuelled by them. I leaned forward and placed my hand on the tree trunk. Ow! A miniscule splinter of wood had embedded itself in my small finger. I sat down on a log and found a pair of tweezers in my pocket. As hard as I tried I couldn’t seek the splinter, I tried and tried and tried for hours on end. Eventually, my eyes refused to stay open and I fell asleep.

* * *

My eyelids opened, I felt the soft duvet beneath me, I was back in my bedroom. I looked in the bathroom, no raven. My book was lying open on the bedside table. I picked it up. A sharp pain shot through my finger, I looked at it and thought of the forest. That was where I had gotten my … splinter!
That was the answer to the riddle, I got it in the woods, I sat down to seek it, and I brought it home because I couldn’t find it! It is amazing how the answers to these things come to you, a splinter!
One answer still kept its distance. How is a raven like a writing desk?