Fit Like, Yer Majesty? A book of Doric Poems compiled by The Reading Bus, Aberdeen
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Illustrations by Bob Dewar
This delichtfu beuk his been pit thegither bi Moira McIver, Jenny Watson and a the Readin Bus quines and loons, wi help fae freens and cohorts in Aiberdeen and aroun the county. The twinty-five poems screived bi north-easters o a ages fi fourteen tae ninety-twa are made even mair real wi the drawings bi airtist and a roon genius Bob Dewar. Ye can tell that Bob his read ivry single word bi the detail he’s managed tae draw in his picters.
The poems are aboot life fae the beginnin o time richt up tae the verra present day and inti the future, startin wi a poem aboot a peer sodjer fi Rome, sent tae guard Bennachie fae the wild Picts, spendin his days oot in the pooring rain an sikkin hame tae sunny Rome - weel fa widna, really!
Then there’s “Doctor Fa” landin in Aiberdeen wi his Tardis, lookin oot for Daleks in the Castlegate and gettin a parkin ticket instead! And ye can only hae sympathy for the peer quine in “The Check-oot Quine’s Lament” wi the piles o messages she has tae shove through on her shift in the supermarket.
In atween there’s poems aboot historical incidents like “The Aul Kirk O Kinneff”, far the Croon Jewels o Scotland were buried in the graveyaird bi the meenister’s wife, tae save them fae bein stolen bi government troops, and a story tae gaur ye lauch, aboot Harry, the fechtin Hielander, gi’en orders bi his wife tae tak the dog oot for a wak and hoover the lounge. An afa sad poem is aboot the Stotfield Disaster on Christmas Day in 1806, fan the hale fishing fleet fae that toon gaed doon in a tempest, leavin seventeen weedas and bairns without their men and breedwinners.
The wither features an afa lot in the poems, which is nae surprise. “Shooer” describes a richt coorse day in twa perfect words - hale watter, and the drawin o a bairn rennin along the road, hood up and drookit, is verra familiar tae onybody bidin in, or takin their holidays in, the north-east.
The sea, the land and the hard lives o the folk that work them are tellt in twa-three different poems, and een o my favourites is “Winter Fishin” describin a day on the grey-green seas in a fishin boatie - the men caul, weet, feart, but wi nae option but tae tak a good catch and heid for hame afore the wither turns worse. Bob’s dark drawing o the boatie, named “Hardtrauchle”, pits a shiver doon yer spine and stops ye fae complainin aboot the price o fish.
A lot o the poems are for, by, or aboot bairns and there’s stories aboot ghaisties an ghouls, wizards, fairies an kelpies, squeeldays, pets, fitba and even dinosaurs – somethin tae please a’body an tae gaur ye lauch or nearly greet.
I was invitit tae the book launch in September at Fyvie Castle. It was a richt fantoosh do, wi a hale host o celebrities, includin a the poets and, as usual, the show was stolen bi the squeel bairns acting oot the poems in their ain, or adopted Doric. Some o them had even made films o the poems and the auler folk present were fair stammygastet at their talents.
The last word his tae be left wi the north-east loonie caad Mike an his good freen and maist famous quine of a – Her Majesty, of course. Mike biked a the wye tae London tae speir fit Her Majesty thocht o this gran beuk o poems and her reply wis - “Nae Bad Ava” !
Recommended by Jeanette Harris, General Manager and exiled North-East quine
October 2008
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Fit Like Yer Majesty? is available to buy in Aberdeenshire book shops like Waterstones or online at www.readingbus.co.uk It will also be available for sale in selected Tesco stores on selected dates.
