Reading and being Autistic 

As an Autistic person, when I talk about being interested in something, I often mean that it’s quite literally all I can think about. For example, when I was a child, my favourite book was D.K.’s The Encyclopedia of The Dog (yes, essentially a dog dictionary). I read it constantly and any time I met a dog in the real world was an opportunity to reel off the facts I’d been consuming night after night. 

It goes without saying that books are a way of helping me explore and connect with the topic that I’m especially interested in at the time (for a post-canine example, see my unwieldy stack of non-fiction about the Mandarin Chinese character system).  

While I’m really 'in' an interest, choosing books is a dream - just head to the relevant section in the library and pick one of the books on Mao Zedong I haven’t read. But for me, intense interests can come and go. I’m not sure if it’s because I 'overdo it' and eventually become sick of them (a constant fear for anyone reliant on engaging with their interests to self-regulate) or just because new interests inevitably take over. 

Either way, when I can’t rely on a piqued interest to direct my book choice, I can feel stuck. Choosing a new book can be an executive function nightmare and I often find myself hanging around waiting for a new interest to strike so I can return to the bookshop. I’ve learnt to be kinder to myself during these periods and trust that my brain likes to find something to get hooked on; once I find the next thing, you better believe I’m going to read everything about it!

There’s a stereotype about Autistic people that we lack empathy. Not only has this now been challenged – with 'double empathy' emerging as a more likely explanation for the mismatch between neurotypical and autistic communication styles – but some Autistic people actually report experiencing hyperempathy - feeling empathy 'too intensely'.

For me, this means that I can often get very affected by what happens to the characters in a fiction book. If you find it hard to regulate your emotions and have a tendency to pick up negative feelings, this can mean your mood can genuinely be ruined by what you’re reading. 

It’s only more recently I’ve come to recognise this 'sticky feelings' phenomenon and now I try to avoid books with dark or depressing themes at times when I’m not feeling emotionally 'robust' (note to self: reading Hanya Yanagihara’s A Little Life in the first winter during lockdown was not a good idea). 

All this has a positive side though. The good feelings stick to me too, and reading a story of hope or happiness can bring me such genuine joy as if the experience were my own. 

Most days as an Autistic person are pretty tiring: masking, dealing with sensory overwhelm, navigating changes to my routines, and interactions with others (however pleasant) often leave me feeling drained.

When this goes on for a long time and is combined with the ordinary stressors of work and life, burnout is usually on the horizon. Finding ways to recharge is essential. For me, reading is the perfect antidote. Being able to completely block out the outside world and sit in a quiet, safe space almost always brings me back to myself. 

It also helps, for example, on long journeys on public transport, where the anxiety of travelling and constant noise and movement from others can be draining. Reading sets my brain to task; there are so many complex cognitive tasks involved in comprehending and immersing oneself in a book that it helps block out what’s going on around me. This makes potentially overwhelming or exhausting situations a lot more bearable.

I received my Autism diagnosis later in my life – at 23 years old. It was a long process and caused me to rethink almost every aspect of my life. Reading about Autistic characters - like Addie in A Kind of Spark – and real people – like Laura in Odd Girl Out – articulated things that I hadn’t been able to put into words.

Research shows that there are many benefits to reading about characters who share our identities, including understanding ourselves better, feeling more confident, and feeling part of a community. This is not to say that if you’re Autistic you 'should' be reading about Autistic characters - and of course, not all representation is 'good' – but when the world can sometimes feel like it doesn’t belong to us, finding others who 'get it', fictional or not, can be a real lifesaver. 

To ease understanding, we've pulled together a glossary of Autism-related words mentioned in this article.

• Autistic burnout: A state of physical and mental fatigue, heightened stress, and diminished capacity to manage life skills, sensory input, and/or social interactions usually arising from long periods of exposure to environments which do not meet our needs. For more information see Spectrum News’ article which examines Autistic burnout in more depth.

• Double empathy: the theory that communication difficulties between autistic and non-autistic people are due to both parties struggling to understand each other’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, rather than Autistic people having “deficits” in social skills. To learn more, see Frontiers’ article on how double empathy means Autistic people are often misunderstood.

• Executive function: A set of mental processes which support skills such as working memory, switching between tasks, and resisting impulses. We use these skills every day to learn, work, and manage daily life. Executive function difficulties can make it hard to focus, follow directions, and manage emotions, amongst other things.

• Interest: Many Autistic people have intense and highly focused interests which can change over time or be lifelong. You might have heard these called “special interests”, but not all Autistic people like this term.

• Masking: Autistic people may hide or suppress (consciously or subconsciously) parts of themselves which do not conform to neurotypical norms. This can include not talking about our current interests, or forcing ourselves to make eye contact even though it can be painful. Masking for long periods can be exhausting and may lead to burnout. For more information, read the Neurodivergent Insights’ blog on masking in Autism.

• Self-regulation: This involves recognising and managing thoughts, feelings, energy levels, and behaviour to be able to respond flexibly to our environment. Some people find it more difficult to self-regulate and may rely on strategies such as engaging with their interests, ‘stimming’, or removing themselves from stressful situations.